THE GOD OF TRUTH—9/29/2015

The world system is a matrix of LIES
It always was–from the beginning and even so–it is NOW.
Look not for any answers within it’s covert and overt CRIES
Look only to your Perfect God of Truth and BOW.

O God, my beautiful Creator, I worship YOU
I love the way You feed me from your depths of KNOWLEDGE
So I can see and know all I am to Be and DO ~
With all my heart I thank You for Your protective HEDGE.

Here in your arms of love and COMFORT
I feel so safe from the barrage of DECEPTIONS
That ever rages across this world’s COURT
To woo and entice the wandering darkened ONES.
There will never be enough WORDS
To thank You and praise You for all You mean to ME.
Your attentive care, Your Light and Your STANDARDS
Making clear for me everything I need to SEE.

And what do I see…that everything is upside down and BACKWARDS

Rabbit holes across this flat earth WITH NO BOTTOM IN SIGHT

Sheeple who are ever asleep, as though ZOMBIES

Caught and chained in a prison of DARKNESS.
Yet there will always be those who are ever SEEKING

And who love the truth…we are WIDE AWAKE!

In this I rejoice and celebrate life as NEVER BEFORE!

I enjoy my life and the lives of OTHER AWAKENED SOULS…



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~ There is HOPE ~

In the midst of my mourning

You come ~ quietly

To my inner world of

Stillness ~ you know

All of me–more than I’ll

Ever know & You understand my

Painful journey ~ the unrequited desires

The unleashed potentials,

The deep sadness & yet…

Ever the hope that swells within me.

Then I look on Your loving,

Welcoming Face

And sigh a sigh of love & inner calmness

And I remember…those who hope

In Your mercy will not be

Ashamed or disappointed.

Yes, in the midst of my mourning

You come ~ quietly

To soothe my weary soul

To lift my drooping head

To touch my aching heart

And You bring a fresh smile

To my face ~ for You,

In the midst of my mourning…

 You bring me fresh HOPE.                     6-25-16

Psalm 31:24

Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.

Psalm 33:18

Behold, the eye of the Lord is upon them that fear him, upon them that hope in his mercy;

Psalm 42:5

Why are you cast down, O my soul? and why are you disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.

Psalm 71:14

But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more.

Psalm 119:116

Uphold me according unto Your word, that I may live: and let me not be ashamed of my hope.


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By the Hand of my King
There is no other way
For even though it seems to be
By other hands, you see
Behind it all~~there is always
The Hand of my King.

Invisible and yet so powerfully
He moves in marvelous ways
To orchestrate my very life
Yes, each and every day.
Weaving a tapestry of mystery
Satisfying Him abundantly.
Truly, I will become all He desires 
For I am His most excellent prize.

Yea, He is unsearchable in all
And yet so very near
Hearing my every call
For I am His temple
Bought with a price
And by the Hand of my King
All these marvels make my heart sing!

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The Beautiful Reins of God

   Hold tightly onto me ~ His own

For I am truly flesh of

   His flesh and bone of His Bone.

Faithfully He does His

   Secret works within

To remove from me my sin.

   While He holds tightly onto

The reins of my life

   I can trust that He is

Delivering me from my strife.

   Oh yes, Lord, please keep

Your powerful Hands on

   The Reins of me.

This is the way I will

   Be able to see.

All You desire in my

   Path of light

Is to remove my hands

   From the Reins that

I might walk with

   New sight.

Thereby bowing in loss

   That I might embrace

The Cross…

Beautiful Savior ~ Beautiful Reins.

Mat. 16:24–If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.


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My flowing tears
Oh how blessed they are…
To You my Beloved
And to me as well.

Healing takes place
Deep within me
In those secret places
In Your loving heart.
You visit me in yet unknown rooms
To sweetly touch ~ to hear my cries
For You know my needs
To be set free.
I kneel in You w/ tears that flow ~ for You, Lord ~
I know You have them pressed
Into Your Heart of love ~
Forevermore ~ My flowing tears.
Acts 17:28–In him we live and move and have our being’; as even some of your own poets have said, ‘For we are indeed his offspring.’
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The writing below is on chapter 4:6-7

This is a very insightful, endearing description of our Lord in His sufferings for each of us and how we can respond in love as His Bride.


Listen in again to fullness of His heart being poured out to her. “O how you deeply touch My heart. In all of your submissiveness, your love for Me flows. The spiritual beauty that is in you brings so much glory to Me. My beautiful bride, your heart is all Mine. What joy it is for Me to bring My angels and bid them to gaze at you (Eph. 3:10). You are so filled up with My beauty, My goodness and mercy. My glory shines so much brighter when it is combined with other lilies as you, My love. You long to care for others who belong to Me. I love you so much for it! You are the joy that was set before Me at the cross (Heb. 12:2). There is still work to be done in you. I must increase and you must decrease. Soon, My lovely bride, you will climb the “mountain of myrrh” and begin to walk in a holiness you never thought possible. Trust in My love My beautiful dove!”

There is nothing more beautiful, no image more endearing, no sight so captivating as Jesus seen in the walk and ways of a spiritual lily! Eternal love flows and flows back and forth from their hearts to each other and to those around them! She is now prepared to go through one of the most difficult spiritual experiences in her Christian walk, crucifixion of the self-life. Listen to her response…

V.6 “Until the day break, and the shadows flee away, I will get me to the mountain of myrrh, and to the hill of frankincense.”

You know, myrrh (1:13) represents the work of the Beloved on the cross for her and in 3:6 she had been reminded, through the dream, that He provides the myrrh and frankincense for her! Hallelujah! He is the great provider, Jehovah-Jireh! He, the spiritual myrrh, was crushed in crucifixion and His blood came forth! It is the power of the blood that dispels the shadows (Rev. 12:11)! We must be willing to go to the mountain of crucifixion with Him. It will be painful, but oh the resulting power and presence of God in your life! We cry out for the blessings of the abundant life and the Holy Spirit directs us to go up to the mountain of crucifixion. We struggle, resist, whine and hesitate! Find out if there is anything you are not aware of by praying Psa. 139:23,24. Ask God to search you. If nothing comes to mind then you are okay. If there is something, then listen to the following:

In her heart the Holy Spirit quietly speaks, “You are unaware of the bondages present in your life. Your heart yearns to please your Beloved. I have filled you with faith and love, now it’s time to deal with the real problem – self which rises up and snares your spiritual feet in subtle, sinful traps. Look in the distance and you will see a mountain and a hill. One is the Mountain of Myrrh and the other the hill of Frankincense. To truly please your Heavenly Husband you must climb that mountain!”

Conviction swept through her soul. Sinful attitudes and actions long buried and forgotten came to mind: a bitter, unforgiving spirit concerning an abuse in her childhood and a lie that had gone unconfessed to mention a few. She felt so dirty. She cried out in her soul, “He will never love me knowing these things about me! What can I do to get rid of them?” The Holy Spirit said to her heart, “Look to the mountain! The answer is there!” She said, “I am willing to go. Tell me, what is on that mountain?” The Holy Spirit replied, “Only when you arrive there will it be revealed to you.” In strong words of faith she spoke, “Yes, I must go if this is the only way to deal with my sinful self-will.” A peace filled her heart. It was a gift from the Holy Spirit. In her mind the precious Holy Spirit caused her to hear the voice of her Beloved, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you: not as the world gives, give I to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27).

Here was a crucial test of faith. The Lord’s bride is going to a place where she had never been before! Why would she go? She knows just how important myrrh” and “frankincense” are because of the dream-vision just experienced.

Already, she could feel godly sorrow working repentance in her heart. She had received eternal forgiveness from Him when she received Her Beloved as Savior and Lord. But lingering deep inside her soul was an uncrucified will. Although she had peace to proceed up this difficult mountain, painful things of her past – the unforgiveness, hurtful things said about others, hidden bitterness and pride all rose up in her to be dealt with. She knew in her heart that unless her will was dealt with there would be no real intimacy, no real walk in ministry with her Beloved. The Holy Spirit spoke gently into her soul, “Have you forgotten the awful separation you endured not long ago?” A dreadful emptiness swept through her soul. Just the thought of separation from Him again gave her new strength to climb. The Holy Spirit continued, “Victory is at the top of this mountain.  When you reach the peak you will begin to walk in beautiful, loving holiness.  A new and deeper relationship with the One whom you love with all of your heart will result.” With that word, the bride took another giant step upward!


Praise God for the word “until”! To her it was a word of faith anticipating victory. The “how” of victory will be revealed to her on the “mountain of myrrh”. The Holy Spirit now reassures her heart as she climbs step by step, “Because of your words of intensive expectation (faith), victory is coming into your life.” David knew about this, when all seemed hopeless in that cave.  The devil hammered him with this thought,“You will be dead by morning by the hands of Saul!” but David spoke faith words in Psa. 57:1. “Be merciful unto me, God for my soul trusteth in thee until these calamities be overpast.”

In those first steps up this imposing mountain severe attacks of discouragement race through her mind. There is no beauty on this mountain. It is foreboding and threatening. The higher she climbs the darker it becomes. Fearful sounds of thunder come crashing into her ears. The prince of darkness sends a chilling wind of no hope through her soul. No weapon is spared by the enemy to hinder her from making this ascent. Satan knows that if the Lord’s bride makes it to the top she will have daily victory and the shadows of the little foxes will begin to disappear having no effect on her! She cringes and begins to turn away. The Holy Spirit reminds her, “You must climb this mountain. What you will learn at the top will change and empower you to have healing and victory over bondages and the controlling self-life! You will feel your Beloved’s love as never before!”

Fear once again grips her soul. But all of a sudden her Beloved appears to her and whispers, “Bride of My heart, you know how much I love you, your willingness to go to the mountain of myrrh pleases Me beyond all that you can imagine. The Holy Spirit will be with you through the whole process. He will give you My strength. (Deut. 31:6; Heb. 13:5).” With this blessed assurance she continues and all the time saying to herself, “I am pleasing the Love of my heart!” As she continues upward onto this mountain of darkness and evil she hears the Holy Spirit say to her heart, “Keep your spiritual eyes on your Beloved. Think about Him. Meditate on His Words given especially for you. Worship Him. The darkness and evil will not have power over you as you climb.” (I Cor. 15:57; Rev. 12:11).

The dreadful darkness and diabolical coldness of self-will surrounded her. Winds of unspeakable shame and guilt struck at her trying to force her off the mountain. But each time, she did exactly as the Holy Spirit directed her. He reminded her of Psa. 119:105. All of a sudden in the darkness there was a lamp for her feet and a light for her path. She thought, “It is amazing how one look at my Beloved takes the fear out of the evil surrounding me.”

She reached the top and what seemed to be an eternity was but a moment in time. The Holy Spirit asked her to walk into the darkness with all the fearful peals of thunder around her. With hesitant steps she enters. What she saw there was repulsive to her soul. She shrank back in horror. It was her Beloved on the cross. Tears running down her cheeks she heard Him speak in tones of excruciating pain from the cross. “Come closer, consider the cost of making you My bride.”

Gazing at Her Beloved’s torn and mangled body caused her to turn back in horror. At that very moment her Beloved cried out in anguish, “My God, My God why have You forsaken Me?” The Holy Spirit pulled the curtain away and what she saw was much more terrifying than what had happened to His precious body. The most unimaginably hideous looking dark images of sin formed: murders, adulteries, blasphemous words of slander, violence, hatred and so much more. Then came the demonic attack: laughing, mocking, spewing out filthy slime against His mind. They kicked, they howled, they screamed, they tempted, they tortured Him with unspeakable acts. What was once holy was being crushed and conformed to the most grotesque evil image possible. The Holy Spirit brought to her mind, “My Beloved not only took my sins (John 1:29) but He actually became my sin (II Cor. 5:21). My Beloved not only took my curse but became it (Gal. 3:10,13).” All the curses of Deut. 28 poured over His soul (tumors, boils, madness, blindness, pestilence, fever etc. (vs. 15, 21, 22, 27, 28, 35, 59; read Matt. 8:17).

She was made to look at her Beloved’s spirit. What had been filled with the Holy Spirit and the glorious fellowship of the Father, now had been forsaken and left entirely empty. The chamber of His spirit became filled with anguish and loneliness. As she wept the Holy Spirit said to her spirit, “Do you now understand why a terrible darkness fell from the sixth hour to the ninth hour while your Beloved was on the cross (Matt. 27:45)? You are seeing Him in all His physical, emotional and spiritual hideousness. You are seeing what it meant for Abba Father to ‘crush’ His own Son (Isa. 53:5,10).”

She cried out, “O my Beloved I never realized the depths to which You went. I did this to You!” On His face she could see how deeply He was “despising the shame” (Heb. 12:2). No words could describe it. Fierce flames erupted from His innermost being as He cried out in pain. She saw her face in the midst of all those flames of evil which enveloped His soul (Rev. 20:14, 15).  The Holy Spirit spoke once again to her heart and said, “These are the flames of the second death you deserved to suffer. Your Beloved is taking the penalty you deserved! He loves you that deeply!”

It was too much for her to bear as she fell to her knees sobbing and filled with a love for Him she had never felt before. Streams of living water began to flow from her heart to the cross. When she looked up again, she saw in His eyes an unspeakable joy. That Spirit-filled water flowing from her heart to the foot of the cross was the “joy that was set before Him” so that He could “endure” her hell.

The Holy Spirit spoke gently to her spirit, “What you are about to see will be the key to overcoming the power your sin nature has within you. Those habits, attitudes and actions do not have to overpower you (Rom. 6:14). Never forget what is about to be revealed to you. This is going to make the dream given to you not long ago a reality in your daily walk with the Beloved.”

She looked once again at the soul of her Beloved. She saw her sin rising up within Him to take control: the lust after things; the criticizing words of gossip which had fallen from her lips; the arrogant pride; the strife caused by angry thoughts and words; unholy things she had watched, read and heard; the spirit of irritation and aggravation; the selfish coveting after things! Each evil separately rose up to take over and chain Him in its evil grasp. Each sin was enthroned upon a black throne. Emblazoned upon each throne were these words, “I WILL NOT HAVE THIS MAN REIGN OVER ME! I will reign over my own life!” Then, in the midst of the sin sitting upon the throne, her face appeared exuding self-seeking, arrogance! Out of her mouth came, “I will raise my throne above the most High! I am my own god! My will and my desires alone!” This sight was too much for the bride and she fell on her face crying out, “I did this to my Beloved. Send me to hell! I deserve eternal punishment.” At that very moment she heard the Beloved cry out, “Father, forgive her for she knows not what she has done!” A drop of His blood appeared over her heart and an inexpressible peace swept over her. The gentle Holy Spirit whispered, “Your Beloved’s blood was placed upon your heart when you received Him as Lord and Savior.” Her spirit fell back into the arms of the Holy Spirit and proclaimed, “Not my will! Not my will!” She then looked back to the soul of her Beloved in all of His pain and watched her sins, iniquities and transgressions try to overtake Him.

Just as they were about to prevail a drop of His blood fell on each sin giving Him full victory over every one of those evils. The Holy Spirit spoke, “Did you see what just happened to all those evil urges which live in your sin nature? Your Husband won a victory over each one of them! All during your lifetime these sins will separately attempt to take over the throne of your heart and rule you. They must be dealt with individually. Listen to what I wrote you, ‘Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed (rendered powerless) that henceforth we should not serve sin.’ (Rom. 6:6). Notice the word ‘might’. It is still possible for you to be controlled by sin while you walk on earth.”

The Holy Spirit continued to explain, “Jesus not only paid for the penalty of your sin (an eternity of punishment in the ‘lake of fire’ Rev. 20:14,15) but also won a victory over the power of sin to control you while living on Earth. What you need is to know how to daily use His victory to overcome these sins which will attempt to rule you. Don’t ever forget how your Beloved defeated each sinful thing. Let your heart hear these words which I wrote just for you and you will know how to have victory, “…reckon (consider) yourselves to be dead (to be separated from) indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Rom. 6:11). For example, gossip rises up to rule your heart. By faith say to that sinful temptation or attitude, ‘You have no right to control me, Jesus’ blood has already defeated you. I consider myself separated (dead) from your power to control me. My Beloved won a victory over you and I am alive in His victory. I don’t have to battle you. Your problem is not with me but with Jesus who is my Lord. He is the ruler of my heart right now!” The Holy Spirit said, “Now you know how to stop sin. Remember, apply this each time when sin attempts to take over! Do it thirty times a day and you will have thirty victory celebrations.”

The Bride, filled with joy amidst this awful scene at the cross said, “Yes, yes, I understand now. It’s not my battle. My Husband’s blood defeated the power of each unrighteous thing in me. All I have to do is apply it each time.” The Holy Spirit excitedly said, “Then, what I wrote to you will actually be a living reality, ‘For sin shall not have dominion (power) over you: for you are not under law, but under grace.’ 
(Rom. 6:14)  It is all accomplished by your faith in the Word (Rom. 6:6-14). Then, sin’s power will retreat in defeat! You are to live and walk by faith.”

Dear Christian, you and I must bring our old habits of independence to His cross and see them as having been crucified (Rom. 6:6-14)! We must take all of the attacks of the enemy to the cross and cease trying to fight them in our own strength (II Cor. 4:7-18)! We must be willing to go to the place of our birth (Calvary) and allow the cross to blot out what weakens our relationship with Him! He must increase and we must decrease (John 3:30) and it is realized only by daily going to the cross. The result will be Gal. 2:20! This is a sign of being a true bride of the Beloved, “And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with all
its affections and lusts.” (Gal. 5:24)! This is true spiritual warfare! Make it a habit! The crucifixion of the flesh is simply surrendering that sin to Jesus’ victory and your soul to His Lordship. His victory becomes your victory by faith as you proclaim each time His victory which has already defeated the power of these sins to control you, “Not my will but Thine be done. Jesus’ victory is my victory!” Please read Rom. 1:17, I John 5:4 and Rev. 12:9-11, it will be very clear.

Dear reader, do you see why you first must go to the mountain of myrrh then you will experience the hill of frankincense? No wonder He instructed us to never forget His death through the communion! The mountain of crucifixion is the most difficult mountain we will ever have to climb.  Our independent sinful nature fights it with all of its strength!

This is the place where He will increase and we will decrease. It is the place of true surrender! Every right that we hold dear is placed at the foot of the cross! O how we struggle to keep what we think we possess, yet in reality, it all had always belonged to Him in the first place (James 1:17; John 3:27). Everything: our gifts, talents, abilities, hurts, desires, job, family, positions and habits must be placed at the foot of the cross and recognize His power over them! This is that for which Paul pressed toward the mark, the high calling which is in Christ (Phil. 3:13-14), to become more like Christ and have His image seen by the world (Rom. 8:29).

“…the hill of frankincense.”
After surrendering daily each sinful temptation to the Lordship of our King, then we go from the mountain to the hill! Coming down is so easy. No real energy is needed. When you reach the hill you will feel a refreshing peace, purity and holiness sweep over your soul, your walk and your ways (see 3:6)! Why so effortless? Because the Holy Spirit is in control and it is by His power and might we are walking! The hill of holiness brings peace that passes understanding and joy unspeakable (Phil. 4:7; I Pet. 1:8)!

The bride looks down from the mountain and sees this beautiful hill. She already feels a refreshing breeze and lovely fragrance flowing from there. She takes a step toward the hill, her heart begins to pound as she feels the presence of her Beloved near. All of a sudden He appears. She rushes to His arms and He says, “Come with Me, we will go together. This is what I have been waiting for.” Holding tightly to His strong arm they were immediately transported to the hill. He pauses and places a hand on each side of her face, then peers deep into her eyes and exclaims in love filled tones…

V.7 “Thou are all fair (beautiful, lovely), my love; there is no spot in thee.”

O what Jesus sees in us that we do not see in ourselves! She is absolutely beautiful to Him. Before (1:15 and 4:1) He had said that she was fair, beautiful, lovely, but now He uses the word “all”! The struggle of our “will” up the mountain of crucifixion was very difficult, but one look from His eyes and these words from His lips made it worth it all! He has just described eight aspects of her physical features. Eight is the number of new beginnings (eight people in the Ark in Gen. 8). This is where we truly become the Lord’s portion to His heart (Deut. 32:9)! O how lovely the walk of holiness is to your Beloved!

PRAY WITH ME: O dear Abba Father, may I always see things through Calvary’s eyes, through eyes of holiness. Is there anything in me not pleasing to You my dear Bridegroom? Dear Holy Spirit reveal it to me (Psa. 139:23,24), then I will take it to the mighty mountain of myrrh so that I may walk on the holy hill of frankincense in Your peace and power! Your Words and Your thoughts are too high for me, too wonderful for me (Isa. 55:6). What You see in me must be so because You are truth. I heard You say them to my heart by the Holy Spirit! I do not see what You see in me, but in faith I receive these amazing words of love for me from Your heart. If only I had understood earlier that You were not looking for perfection in me while I walked this earth, but simply a total surrender of my will to You. You are patiently transforming me into Your image through the dear Holy Spirit and that makes me beautiful to You! My soul is flooded with worship for You. In Your most worthy name Beloved of my heart, my Lord and my God, amen!”

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Tell my children, tell my children.  Tell them how much you love Me and how much I love them.   Tell them that in spite of all their failures, I am with them, loving them, watching over them, teaching them, leading and guiding…yes, right through the storms of life and there will be plenty of storms to go through, but I am WITH YOU IN THE STORMS and I am with your brothers and sisters too.  Remind them.  You know how everyone needs reminders.  Never give up loving others through My love…just look to Me in your brokenness and I will fill you afresh with My love.
Love is the KEY that opens the door to many secrets and treasures and they are all in My heart.
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